On My Own

October 6, 2012

It's 6:30am and my feet hit the tile floor and the sound sends a small echo across the room. I look around and I realize something new. I am alone. Silently I walk over to my desk and sit. I look. I watch. I listen. From my window I can see ripples being made in the pond below as villagers wash their cookware. And out of the window to my left I can hear the younger children singing their breakfast prayer song. So, really I am not alone. I live among a new people, a new way of life. All I have to do is walk outside the door of my two bedroom apartment and live and learn. But here at my desk, I have the opportunity to converse and listen to my Savior in solitude. And I am thankful. Don't get me wrong, I've only been here two days and life is not all roses. I do struggle with the fact that I am the only student missionary here and it is hard to sit down and try to connect with my Savior. But, I am trying. The people here are very encouraging and all we have to do is smile at each other and we connect despite the language barriers. Thank you Jesus for the ability to smile otherwise I wouldn't know where to start.

since it was Sabbath, I got to spend all day with the children. I went to the 4th grade Sabbath school class and helped lead out in songs and Bible trivia. You should hear these kids sing! They have such strong voices for their little bodies. After the kids had their lunch and naptime, I carried my guitar out to the courtyard and instantly was surrounded by at least 20 children all wanting me to teach them a new song. And, yes, for those of you who had mentioned it, I did feel a little bit like Maria from the Sound of Music. We played games for the rest of the day and whenever I stopped to rest I was surrounded by kids either climbing all over me or prying for a spot in my lap or reaching for one of my fingers to hold onto.

After sundown, all of the children gathered in the cafeteria to close the Sabbath then watch a movie. I sat down on the edge of the mat and two of the littler boys, Jacob and Levi, crawled into my lap and instead of fighting over who could sit there, Jacob looked up at me and gave me a huge, cheeky smile and reached his arm around Levi's shoulders and just sat there calmly in my lap embracing his "brother". And my heart did two things: first, it melted. Second, it experienced a testimony of love. All day these kids had been clamoring for my full attention, my acceptance of them, my love. God must be trying so hard to do the same for my response to Him and when I let Him have my full, undivided attention all He wants to do is to be with me; put His arm around me and sit calmly. I'm praying each day that each time a child wants me to hold him/her I will remember Jesus and his eagerness to love me and to view each child with the knowledge that they have been born into a broken world and what they crave most is love - bottom line. We're not all that different: orphans and non-orphans. Being part of the human race we all crave the same thing and I am glad I believe in a God who in the essence of His being is love.